A Sale!!(share this with your friends!!)

I know this isn't the normal topic of conversation for me, but I'm too excited about it not to share. I don't have many followers, but for those of you who do actually read my rantings, thank you. A true friend is one who listens and will read the rantings of a crazy person all the way to the end. I love you and appreciate the time you take out of you day to read my blog. Anyways, as some of you may know, I was raised by a mom who loves to quilt and sew and is always doing all sorts of projects(most of them never get finished, but she does have good intentions) and she taught my sisters and myself from a young age to be as crafty/thrifty/cheap/etc as possible. Now I don't really consider myself to be too crafty, but I do have my moments of brilliance. Whenever I am "online window" shopping, I'm almost always thinking to myself, I bet I could find and modify a pattern for that and make it myself. This thinking became almost an obsession when I became a mom and realised how much baby stuff really costs. In the past year alone, I've experiemented with my own homemade cloth diapers, my own brand of "Hooter Hiders" or nursing covers, baby slings and carriers, cloth baby shoes(still working on the pattern for that one) and most recently, hooded towels. Jeff, being the wonderful husband he is, bought me a brand new sewing machine for my birthday last year and I am so in love with the ease of use it provides me and all my projects. Until recently I haven't been confident enough in any of my designs to sell them, but my hooded towels seem to be a hit. My sister-in-law is due with her first baby next month and so I made her one as a baby shower gift, which is where I got my first customer, 3 towels for $15 each. Up until now, I've been making things for free because I'm a nice person and really don't like asking for money from people even though sometimes it feels as though I'm spending a fortune making things. However, if I am ever going to make any money(which was actually the original plan), I'm going to have to buck up and actually put a price tag on my products. I don't have many pictures yet, but I will do my best to take some more for you and if any of you are interested or you know someone who would be interested, please let me know. So far all I'm selling is towels and the nursing covers (price varies with fabric, but around $8 each, I think), but once I get my shoe pattern the way I like it, I'll be selling them too. I'd like to sell the carriers too, but that makes me a bit nervous because there is a possiblily of failure and I'd never want to put anyone's baby at risk. I doubt that would happen because I'm a bit obsessive about getting the right kinds of fabric and reinforcing all the seams, but accidents happen. If you're still interested, let me know, I make asian or Mei Tai style carriers(similar to BabyHawk), wrap carriers(similar to the Moby Wrap) and sling carriers(like HotSlings), prices vary with the type of material I use. If there is any other style you'd be interested in, I'd be happy to try it out myself and let you know what I think. I test all my products on my children (does that sound bad?), so if I don't feel safe using them on my babies, I won't sell it until I've got it right. I will keep you updated on the shoes because they are going to be absolutely adorable when I get them figured out. Have a great week everyone!!

Mei Tai Style Carrier Prototype

In Stitches!!

So I've gotten some complaints about not posting for a while and was called a slacker(Thanks Greg), so I figured I better get in here and update ya'll on the happenings of the last month. I think the biggest thing that stands out in my mind is that we experienced our first ER trip with Jackson. He was playing in his bedroom with the ottoman that goes with my rocking chair and he had it upside down. Now, no one understands the facination 2 year old have with things flipped upside down, but for some reason, it's fun to play with thing like that, and we are assuming that is exactly what Jackson was doing. We were actually in the living room at the time because *insert gasp* we don't follow him around everywhere he goes to make sure that he's being absolutly as safe and unendagered as possible. That and because he's 2 and even if we tell him not to play with something a million times, he's still going to play with it until he gets hurt and learns not to play with it anymore, which, because he tends to be like me, happens almost often enough to stick. Almost. We're still working on the sticking part. Anyways, so we're assuming he somehow fell on the underside of my ottoman(still trying to figure out exactly where) and ended up with a small gash above his left eye. 1 hour and 3 stitches later, he'd already forgotten about it and I'm pretty sure he was back to playing with the upside-down ottoman the next day. Like I said, the sticking part is yet to come, but I try to remind him of is owie whenever I find him playing with it. Of course as you can see from the pictures (sorry if they are too graphic, but it really could have been worse!!), he was totally hamming it up when we were trying to get a good shot of it. I had to distract him with music and pictures on my phone to get him to even sit still for it.

The next bit of news is that Mr Owen Michael is now officially crawling!!! He finally picked it up a couple weeks ago and is now completely unstoppable. The day after he figured out the crawling, he figured out how to pull himself up on things and is starting to walk along the furniture now. As you can see, he is clearly thrilled to be completely mobile. I can't belive how big he's getting! Can you believe he's already 9 months old?! Man time flies fast. I weighed both boys the other day to see how big of a weight difference there is, and let me tell you, there isn't much. Stick Man Jackson weighs in at a scrawny 29lbs and my Mr Chubbs is already 23lbs! That's only a 6lb difference! It's a wonder I'm not skinnier and more buff from having to haul him around everywhere. I took them both to get the H1N1 vaccines today and forgot the stroller, only to miss it intensly when I thought my arm was going to fall off just walking from the car to the clinic. It was completely ridiculous, but I find myself making that same mistake alot because I forget how truely heavy he really is. Never Again. PS I couldn't not post this adorable blackmail picture :) I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!!

Next on my list of things to report on would probably be Thanksgiving. I was actually really looking forward to Thanksgiving, besides being really sad that I wasn't going to be able to be at the family reunion going on at my parent's house. I was going to try and leave on Black Friday so I could at least say Hi to everyone before they went back home, but I didn't have a good feeling about going by myself with the boys and there wasn't any way Jeff could go with me, so we opted to stay home instead. No big deal and I was happy to spend time with Jeff's side of the family, but the day didn't go quite like I hoped it would. My mother in law's family gets together every Thanksgiving and has a huge dinner and such at the Stake Center and everyone is supposed to contribute something. I wasn't told what we were going to be contributing until late afternoon/evening the day before Thanksgiving. You'd think it would be something small like a pie or a salad. Nope. Jeff signed me up to make mashed potatoes. 10lbs of mashed potatoes. Now I hadn't been having a great week anyways thanks to my new birth control, so I was already an emotional wreck, but tacked onto that was the stress of having to first clean my horribly messy kitchen and then peel, cook and mash 10lbs of potatoes, get them to the chuch by 1pm so they would still be at least warm when people started eating and take care of 2 little people who tend to throw fits if mommy isn't paying attention to them every minute of every hour. Unfortunatly, I forgot to peel the potatoes, so while I was cooking up the second batch (I don't yet have a pressure cooker big enough to do up that many potatoes and I'm not a fan of boiling them), I had to individually peel every slice of hot potato before I put it in the bowl to mash them and being as clumsy as I am when I'm a little stressed out, I dropped several peices on my newly mopped floor(thank goodness I decided to mop!). Ugh. Finally I finished all the potatoes and somehow in the middle of it all got Owen to sleep (I think I took a break while the first batch was cooking) and went to get Jackson ready to go. As I was climbing over the gate separating the kitchen from the living room, I realised that my 2 year old and decided that he wanted to play a game, but not just any game, it was several decks of playing cards, yahzee and some other card games all over my living room floor. I couldn't take it and broke down right then and there. At that point, I didn't care anymore about getting the potaotes to the church on time(because it was already 1pm) and all I wanted to do was just curl up in a ball and cry, so I did. I went to my bedroom, layed down on my bed, screamed into my pillow and then beat up my bed to keep from beating my child and sobbed for a few minutes. After I'd composed myself a bit, I went to try and clean up the mess and discovered that he'd only made it bigger. Around this time Jeff called me from work (Oh, I forgot to mention, Jeff worked all morning on Thanksgiving Day, how's that for a cake topper?) More crying, more composing, the mess got cleaned up and I went to the bathroom to clean myself up a bit before we left. When I came back into the living room, there was yet another mess for me to clean up, so this meant more crying, more composing and by this time I didn't feel like going anywhere or doing anything with anyone, but I felt obligated to go because I had a huge bowl of mashed potatoes that I had spent much time making. As we were leaving, I see Jeff coming home, so I turned around and went to pick him up so we wouldn't have to deal with 2 cars and realized that I had forgotten we were also going to make some homemade eggnog(once you've had it you'll never buy the crap at the store again!!) to share with everyone. Jeff was sweet enough to gather all the things we needed for that and even offered to give me the rest of the day off, unless Owen needed the boob. A good thought in theory, but as most men are around friends and family, it didn't really work out that way, but thankfully there were plenty of other people who had heard about my day (and seen my tear streaked face) and were willing to lend me a helping hand when I needed one. When we got to the church and after I had made myself as blotch-free as possible (having the blotchy-faced genes doesn't help one bit), I went to put out the mashed potatoes I had made and found 3 more huge bowls that others had brought. I think by the end of the party, only 3 scoops had been taken from my bowl, I had one and Jeff had 2 and the bowl is now in my fridge, small amounts being served with just about every meal, but I think it will go bad before we are able to finish it. How sad is that, all that work for nothing. All in all, it was not a day full of Thanksgiving for me, but once I was able to get over the need to start crying every 5 minutes, I was able to at least enjoy spending time with family members we don't get to see often. Jackson had a blast running around like a crazy person with newfound freedom and people his own height and age and was completely worn out by the end of the day, much to my relief. Owen too discovered someone his size and decided that she was a fun toy and I think she felt the same about him. Aren't they so cute together? That's my neice Ciara and she's almost 1. I'm hopeful that next year will be much better, but with my record the last few years, I'm not counting on it. Hope you all at least had a good holiday!

 

Halloween!

Once again, I have procrastinated. I said I was going to do my decorating as soon as possible, but I lied. I didn't do it until the 30th again, but this year was better than last and I'd say it turned out pretty great looking. The spiders were a little rough and I know how to make them better next time, but I think these ones were still pretty cute and will be a reminder of what I did wrong. The ghost ended up being a small ball of Jackson's put into a couple plastic bags and was very much missed, but quickly forgotten until I took it back down. Jackson's costume was one more last minute 'throw together' and not really a costume because he likes to dress like a cowboy often, but he still looked quite handsome. He's already got the Wranglers, boots, hat and horse(neigh included :)), so why not, right? Sorry I don't have a picture of it, he wouldn't stand still for me long enough and I must have erased all the ones I did take. Whoops. Owen wore the monkey costume we got Jackson at Goodwill last year and was darn stinking cute. I was myself with more makeup, fake eyelashes and a fantastic witch's hat that a sweet saleslady at Walmart found for me in a cart at the back of the store. She said it was the last one and that made me feel extra special. I had a blast handing out candy to all the little trick or treaters that came by and was surprised and confused by the occasional teenager without a costume. I thought that was the whole point of Halloween, but I guess they missed the memo. Next year I'll make them do at least something to earn the treats. Can't get something for nothing. This year the 4-ward trunk or treat was on Saturday afternoon(which meant I went by myself with the boys and ended up forgetting the camera) and was over in time for us to go home to trick or treat a bit there. Jackson didn't do much neighborhood trick or treating, just because he's still too young to really enjoy the holiday too much yet. He loved getting candy, and I don't blame him. We bought a bunch to hand out and then went through what Jackson got at the trunk or treat and tossed what we didn't like in the hand out bowl, keeping only a few favorites for ourselves. We really don't eat a lot of candy and had some from last year still in the bowl. I would have cleaned it out but it was out of reach for me and way above eye level, so I forgot about it. Gross I know. All in all it was a success and I think we all enjoyed ourselves and I hope you all did too!

If you look close, you can see Jacks in the window :)

Thankfully, we are finally back in our own apartment with a working bathroom that I'd have to say turned out really nice. They cut our huge mirror down, put a frame around it and put up some shelves in it's empty space. Our sink and cupboard are even more beautiful out of the box and in their proper place and I am so glad the the faucet doesn't scream at me anymore when I turn it on. They also hightened the shower, which makes Jeff happy because he doesn't need to duck even the slightest bit anymore. Of course, the showerhead we have also helps with that. We've also got new linolium, but it's nothing special. Just a plain white marble pattern that will let me know when the floor needs cleaned. I love it an am so happy to be able to shower in comfort now! No more plastic covering a huge moldy window!

Do you ever get depressed when you think about all the work you've done and you still don't see any results? I certainly do. It's so frustrating and try as I may, I just can't seem to get past the point I'm at now. I don't weigh myself often(maybe like once every few months) and you'd think that with everything I do on a day to day basis the numbers would be decreasing, but they stay the same. By the time Jackson was Owen's age, I was back at my prepregnancy weight and so excited about it(though I gained 20lbs back after he was weaned), but I'm just not seeing the same results this time and I'm doing twice as much breastfeeding as I did with Jackson and I thought that was supposed to help. He was fully weaned by 8 months and Owen is still just starting on solid food. I still am not able to fit into any of my prepreg pants and the ones I'm wearing, though they do seem a bit loose, it's only after I've been wearing them for a few hours that they feel that way. I think the problem is that I'm not getting the cardio that my body needs to really burn fat, and when I complained to Jeff about not seeing results, that is what he said too. I'm taking those tips I found to heart and am really trying to apply them even when it means irritating my stomach with too much acidity from fruits and veggies. My body naturally can't handle highly fatty, greasy or acidic foods and I regret it almost instantly when I do eat them, so you'd think that would help too, but mostly it just cleans me out really good about once or twice a week or whenever I eat something I shouldn't. Who needs Alli or a colon cleanse when you've got a system like mine?! Anyways, hopefully I'll figure out something that will work and help me with the results I am looking for, but for now, I have to get back to real life. Til next time.

Halloween is almost here!

And I am so excited to get trick-or-treaters for the first time! Growing up we always lived way out in the boonies, so we never had anyone come trick-or-treating at our house and the last 3 years we've had church activities at the time when kids normally trick or treat, but this year our ward Trunk-or-Treat ends at 6:30, which leaves pleanty of time for the kiddos to come a callin! I'm so excited! Last year I waited until the day before Halloween to put up decorations, but this year I'm going to do it as soon as possible! I know, time is already running short, but I still have to make some egg carton spiders and get some nails for hanging my bats. Hopefully I'll be able to whip up a ghost of some kind too, just for fun :) Oh and I need to make sure I've got a ton of candy because one of my neighbors(who has become a sort-of "surrogate grandma" for the boys) said there are a lot of trick-or-treaters in our neighborhood, which makes sense because it's fairly nice and very quiet. She informed me that the only candy she'll be getting this year is animal cookies for my boys and no one else! What a sweetheart!

So this week we've been 'kicked' out of our apartment while they finally fix our falling apart bathroom. We moved out Sunday night with the bare nessesities(TV, laptop, toys, etc :)) and haven't been allowed in there again until this afternoon. They tore out the entire outside wall because of the mold, took out the sink, the mirror and I think our manager said they are taking the toilet too, so although we are allowed to go back in, we are out of a bathroom until next week. So, were are we staying you may ask? We are staying 2 doors down in a unit that was fixed several weeks ago and is now being used for a 'transition unit' until people like us have mold free and beautiful bathrooms of their own. I went inside to check out the work today and was disgusted by what they uncovered behind the mirror. Poor patch jobs and awful paint  that I hope will be fixed. As well as a new shower wall(the old tub is staying even though I'm sure it's been here since the apartements were built in the 40's or 50's), we are getting a beautiful new sink(which is currently sitting in out living room, still in the box), a new medicine cabinent, new linolium and mold resistant paint. I'm still not sure about the toilet, it seems fine to me, but you never know what the professionals will find. They said something about making the mirror smaller too(right now it takes up almost the whole wall from door to shower),though I have no idea how much smaller. I have to admit, I kind of like the size it is now, so I guess we'll see what happens. I'm pretty excited to see the finished job and not have to worry about peeping toms watching me while I'm showering. Did I mention that the reason there was mold in the first place was the big window in the shower? It was frosted, but still, if I could see the shower curtain from outside, I know people could see me showering, especially since the only time I have to shower is late at night. I can't tell you how many times I got freaked out just thinking about it. It was either go without a shower or hope and pray there wasn't acutally some sicko out there watching me. Lets just say I'm not the most pleasant person to be around when I haven't showered. Ick.

Moving on. I've been trying to figure out how to diet without actually having to diet and I'm not sure if I'm going about it the right way, but at least I'm trying. I hate the thought of counting calories and keeping a food journal, just because that seems like too much work, so I've done a bit of research(I think I may be a bit of a research addict) and found some tips for losing weight without actually dieting. Not surprisingly most of it is, or at least should be, common sense things like making sure you eat your fruits and veggies(one site suggested having at least half your plate at lunch and dinner be fruits and/or veggies), drinking lots of water, making sure you get at least 30 min of exersise per day, and turning off the TV so you can focus on and savor your food. How brilliant is that? This was the article I found that was the most helpful, it's called "100 Smartest Diet Tips Ever." I think I'm going to have to print it out and frame it. I've been trying to keep up with my pilates and my yoga, especially since I found out that doing an hour of yoga burns more calories that I thought it did. I still don't get the whole calorie thing, but I know it's important so I'm going to keep it in mind. There are days when I do slack(today was actually the first time in about a week that I actually did my yoga, but I've been doing extra pilates to make up for it) so I make an effort to do better the next day. I still haven't really seen any results, but I know that could still be a while before I do. I know I'm more energized and am willing to do more with Jackson, but having free cable for the week(a convenience for the inconvenience of not having a bathroom) has made that more difficult because I'm prone to veg and lose track of time. Well, it's late, I'm tired and my husband needs to come to bed, so it is time for me to say toodaloo. Til next time, remember "I am a work in progress."

Sweater weather is here to stay!

Brrr! And I thought it was cold when the weather was in the low 70's! For the last week it has dramatically dropped and we are now lucky if the thermometer reads over 50 with the sun shining. Thank goodness for central heating and lots of blankets!

The last few weeks seem to have flown by and so far I'd say I'm doing pretty good on my 'total body makeover,' if that's what you want to call it. I know I still need to do more, but I know even with what I am currently doing it will help at least a little bit. For the last 3 weeks I've been diligent with doing my yoga for an hour every morning after breakfast and usually while Owen is taking his morning nap. I've tried to get Jackson to do it with me but, like any 2 year old, he usually gives up after about 2 seconds and then decide to climb on me when ever I get into a 'climbable' position such as cat pose. I guess he thinks I'm a horse or something. Neigh :) After lunch I've also been doing pretty good with doing some pilates workouts with a resistance band and I am definatly feeling it working. My body is usually a little sore, just to the point that I know it's working even the next day. None of that I'm so sore I can't move stuff, it's much more gentle than I thought it would be, but it's still working. I'm not really seeing results yet, but I think it's probably because I've only been doing it for a week and I'm not nearly as diligent as I should be. That and I have a hard time with a lot of the moves because I'm either not flexible or as strong as I need to be to do them right. I was lazy on Saturday and didn't do either of my DVD's but made up for it by letting Jackson sit on my feet and gave him a ride. I think it was more of a workout than my DVD's are! This morning I skipped my yoga and did extra pilates and I think I liked that better. The pilates workouts are each 10 minutes long, so I can stop between workouts and make sure the boys aren't getting into things I'd rather they stayed out of, like the milk that I stupidly left on the table and in reach of a curious and thirsty 2 year old. Luckily, there wasn't a whole lot left in the jug and he somehow managed to get it all into the glass I also left within reach. He then decided to dip the halloween egg carton bats in the milk to get his drink. Yuck! Needless to say, the milk got thrown out. Good thing we bought new milk last night! Oh the things that boy does.

Anyways, last week Owen discovered the deliciousness of Kix and can't get enough of them! Jackson dumped his bowl of dry cereal all over the floor last Thursday morning and then threw a fit when he discovered that Owen had made his way over to the mess and was promptly eating everything within reach. He was told to pick them up and put them back in his bowl several times but would instead pick up a handful and shove them into his own mouth while still whining about Owen eating the ones still scattered all over. Owen has now decided that anything and everything left on the floor must be eatible and he is the man to eat it. I definatly need to vacuum more often! He is so close to crawling that I say he's crawling anyways. I mean, any forward motion counts doesn't it? He's not on all fours yet, but he's getting pretty quick at the army crawl(pulling with his fore-arms and pushing with his toes and knees) and even managed to make it all the way down the hall and almost into his bedroom yesterday. That's much farther than he's ever tried to go before and I was so proud of him for it. Before I know it he's going to be pulling himself up on stuff and walking! Man time flies so fast. Anyways, once again he's found stuff to eat, so I better go make sure it's eatible. Till next time :)

Fall is here...

and I've actually had to turn the heat on in the morning so my babies don't freeze their little tootsies when they wake up and start terrorizing my house and eachother. It's so crazy how quickly the weather and the mood around here has changed. It seems like just last week, oh wait it was last week, the thermometer was reading in the 80s+ and this week it's barely getting to 70, or at least it feels that way. All I know is that this is the first week since about April that I've left the AC off because we didn't need it on anymore.

Anyways, this last month I have really been taking a look at myself and I've found several areas that I would like to improve on, so I've been going about doing research and finding ways of getting where I want to be. When Jeff and I got married, I think I was in the best shape of my life, I'd spent the entire summer before hand doing alot to keep myself in shape and looking good. Even when I went to BYU-I for a semester, I was going to the gym about 3 days a week, so I felt really good about myself and was happy with how I looked and felt. Now after having had 2 kids, I'm ashamed of how far I let myself go. I gained the recommended amount both times, but my falling back was not keeping active before and after I had Jackson. I have a million excuses as to why, but it all comes down to lazyness and I was probably a little depressed. I didn't get post partum depression, but where we were living wasn't condusive to a happy state of mind for me. We were sharing a house with Jeff's brother and family and we were living in the basement where there was little natural lighting(which I tend to be depressed without) so it felt more like a cave than a home. I wasn't working and we didn't really live in town, so we didn't have many neighbors. There was a park about a mile away, but I didn't feel like walking through all the construction that was going on(they were putting in some new developments) and up the hill on the way home. I think I took that walk maybe 2 times and I felt like it wasn't worth the effort. Again, excueses. While I was pregnant with Owen, I didn't have the luxury of having all the time in the world to waste on the computer and in front of the boob tube like I did with Jackson, because I had a very active 18 month old. I think having Jackson around was the only reason I didn't gain 50lbs with Owen, but as I've heard it usually goes, losing weight now seems much harder than it was 2 years ago. With Jackson, it felt like the weight melted off and by the time he was about 8 months old, I'd lost almost all the weight, without doing anything but breastfeeding. Of course, as soon as I stopped, I gained about 15-20 of it back and didn't lose it again before Owen decided to come along. Now 7 months after having Owen, I rarely step on the scale, but when I do the numbers are always the same, telling me the only weight I've lost was the weight that came off in the month after he was born, mostly water and blood and only about half the weight I gained. It's depressing, but at least this time I am living in town and have plently of natural light to keep me happy, but even so I don't feel good about myself. I look at other moms who have had babies within the last year and envy them for their ability to get so slim so fast. I've never had a problem with my weight before and even now I know I'm not huge, but not being able to fit in my jeans and having a constant muffin top because of it makes me feel worse. Not having the money to buy clothes that fit just piles more onto the already heaping pile of guilt and self pity. You'd think that chasing after a 2 year old and hauling around a 20lb 7 month old everywhere would be enough, but apearantly not, so I've made a resolution to myself that by the time I am ready to become pregnant again, I want to be happy with the way I look and the way I feel. I love working out and I always have, but I'm not one to go at it alone so I haven't done it for the last 3 1/2 years. I know, I'm a slacker. If I've got a DVD, I'm ok and can handle the alone part because it doesn't really feel like I'm alone, though the DVD's I own have just been gathering dust since I bought them. I am changing that habit right now. I don't have many friends here and I don't have the money to go to a gym or pay for a sitter, so I've decided that I'm going to work out here at home. I've been doing yoga every morning for the last week and a half and already I'm feeling quite a bit better about myself. Now, I'm also not one to get up at the buttcrack of dawn to do my working out or waiting until the boys are in bed either, I much prefer the light of day(window shades tightly closed) and to sleep as late as the boys will let me, so I get breakfast done and get the boys dressed and spend an hour(usually more because I have boys who like mommy's full attention) with my yoga DVD. It gets my whole body warmed up and stretched out and I feel like I can tackle the day without the need for full football pads. I want to get in more than just yoga, so I've been looking for either a cheap DVD(or DVD series) that has workouts for the seperate areas(upper body, lower body, abs, ect.) or online workouts that I can do while the boys are napping. I've discussed this with Jeff, but so far he hasn't been as enthusiastic as I am and hasn't ok'ed either one yet. I've been sneaking in the online ones though because I feel the need to do something, but he told me that if I did that too much it would put us over out internet usage limit. It's so frustrating because he doesn't understand why I feel like I need to do this. He thinks I'm more worried about how other people veiw me, and that is part of it, but most of it is that I don't feel pretty anymore. He doesn't notice me and look at me the way he did even just 2 years ago. I'll get all dressed up and do my hair and makeup and he won't even notice. I can't tell you how many times I've cried myself to sleep or just prayed that he would. He's come home from work a couple times and mentioned when someone he works with was looking really nice. Even his sisters will get compliments on a new shirt or hairstyle, so why can't I get the same reaction? I've talked to him about it and he says it's not enough of a difference for him to notice, even though I'll spend hours(that I really don't have) in the bathroom trying to look perfect. I've contemplated giving up, but I feel like that would mean giving up on caring about anything and I'm not going to do that. I don't want to be that mommy that just doesn't care anymore. I want to look nice and I want my husband to notice it. If any of you have any tips, please pass them on. I want to take a before picture so I can see how much I've changed by the time I'm done, but I'm afraid of how I look. We don't have a full length mirror, so I only ever see the top half in the mirror and when I look down I can sorta see how the bottom half looks and I'm afraid of seeing the whole veiw. Also, I don't savor the idea of asking Jeff to help me take the picture for fear of him teasing my sillyness. I know I said I want to lose the weight by the time I'm ready for baby #3, but what I really want is to be able to fit into the swimsuit I bought last summer and only wore once because I planned on losing more weight but got pregnant instead. Funny how that tends to happen. Anyways, for those of you who actually read my ranting to the end, I thank you. Since I don't have many friends here and the friends I do have are either single or live too far away, it's nice to know there is someone out there who will listen. Wish me luck on my journey and feel free to send me any tips or advice you have. Until next time...

Happy 23rd to Me!

I'm getting to this a bit late, but the 18th was my birthday and I thought I'd get on here and let you all know! Yeah yeah, big deal, it's just another birthday, but I love birthdays and I always have. We didn't do much but what we did do was have some fun. We usually just go out for dinner or go to a movie when birthdays and anniversaries come up, but I'm getting a little tired of the same old routine, so I asked if we could go bowling this year instead. I am sure glad I did. My sister-in-law (whose name is also Melissa, though she goes by Missy) shares my birthday with me, so I invited her and her husband to come along with us. I really wanted to take the camera so we could have some pictures of me making a fool of myself and asked Jeff to grab it for me. He put it in the diaper bag and when we dropped the boys off at grandma's house, it never got taken out of said diaper bag, so unfortunatly, once again, I have no pictures to share with you. I know, I'm sad too.

As for a family update, Jeff has now finally started school up again and already has an appointment to take his nursing entrance exam in November(yay!). I'm am so proud of him and all that he does for us so that we can have a better life. He is a wonderful man and I thank the Lord for him everyday. Jackson is as 2 as ever, but he is definaly improving. Owen is now 6 months old and as fat and jolly as ever, although ever since Labor Day he's been acting a little attention deprived. I think he was a little too spoiled by nanny and his aunts and uncle. So far he's not really interested in any baby food but will happily chew on a Ritz cracker or some mashed potatoes. He's now got 2 pretty white teeth and his top teeth are about to come through any day now. As for me, I'm looking for any babysitting jobs I can get in hopes of helping out a bit once Jeff gets into the nursing program. Money will be tight, so any little extra bit we can get right now helps. Anyways, Owen is feeling neglected, so I better get off here and give him some love. Till next time.